Tension Among Staff Wives

Tension among staff 2.9.15

I’m going to ask you to hang tight until you’ve read all of today’s thoughts. Don’t read a sentence and then check out, dismissing this topic as someone else’s problem. I would like today to be a day of reflection, honest introspection and a seeking of the Lord’s opinion on this matter in each of our lives as we serve in full time ministry.

In the time that my husband and I have been in ministry, at two separate churches, they have been at multi staff churches. I learned from day one that there was another lady sharing my roles and my goals for ministry at our church. Maybe fresh into ministry, maybe a bit more seasoned, these women walked the same call to full time ministry that I did, where I did, and when I did.

While we shared many things, like trying to raise children in a glass house, dealing with people’s expectations of us, and sharing our husbands with full time ministry demands, we also were very different. Many times, I attended a church function where the other pastor’s wife didn’t. Many times the other pastor’s wife led a ladies Sunday school class when I had no desire to do so. Many times, we had differing opinions of how staff problems or church issues should be handled. There were many opportunities that we could have allowed our own preferences and expectations to dictate how we behaved toward each other.

In Philippians 4:2, Paul says, “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord”. These were two women who helped lead the early church with Paul. They both taught, they both shared the passion of the gospel message, and they both worked alongside Paul. Their platform was the same. Their ministry, by nature, was the same. Yet Paul felt a need to urge them to “be of the same mind.”

So this brings me to a few questions I would like you to reflect on today. Most churches today are multi staffed. If you are a missionary on the field, there is a good chance you have a team you work closely with.

In the quietness of your heart, how are you feeling towards the other staff wives? Can you say that you are of the same mind? Are you letting differences, whether personality, role, or function, keep you from living peaceably among each other? Are you living out Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor?”

We have the ability to encourage our husbands and further the ministry of the gospel by seeking to be of the same mind with those who lead. Nothing will destroy a ministry faster than a quiet spirit of discord, disrespect, or dishonor among those that co-lead with you.

Don’t let it start with you. If you feel a sense of tension among another wife on staff, I plead with you to deal with it now.  In reality, you are probably not the only person picking up on it, but you are probably the only person who can take care of it.

May our hearts always seek to put aside our own desires to whole-heartedly embrace the Lord’s.

Press On!

~Dayna

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