Taking Good Care of our Husband’s Heart

Caring for Husband's Heart 2.27.15

One of the sweetest verses in the Bible, Proverbs 31:11 says, “…the heart of her husband safely trusts in her and she does him good, not evil all the days of her life.”

Whenever I read that scripture, I get a mental impression of strength and warmth and security. In today’s society where nothing remains constant, it must be very fulfilling for our husbands to know that the trust they place in our hands is a good investment. They don’t look back or hesitate for they know without being told that we are their safe harbor.

In churches there are often power struggles. Sometimes the very person our husband considers his closest friend, advisor, and confidant turns out to take sides against him in his vision. This is very destructive and more than one wife has watched her husband struggle valiantly after his foundation has been kicked out from under him. So for a pastor to have a wife who is firmly in his corner no matter what comes up is not a blessing to be taken lightly.

Trust is defined as the “firm reliance in the honesty, dependability, strength or character of someone or something. One in which faith or confidence is placed.” Trust is one of the purest emotions. When we think of trust we see tiny babies looking in the eyes of their parents or puppies sitting at our feet, but rarely do we equate it with a husband’s faith in his wife. The fact that this scriptures does connect them seems almost a contradiction. In our logic we would reason that because our husbands are the heads of our home, it would be our hearts that safely trust in them. But not always so. This scripture demonstrates that when we fulfill our godly role of a helper it provides safety and security to our spouses. Out of the confidence we give them, they are empowered to fulfill what God has called them to do. In Proverbs 31 it is her goodness and virtue that overflows to bless her husband. He gained respect in the community because of her behavior.

This man should be our spouse. The leader of our church should be confident in his ministry because he knows he can safely deposit his heart to our care. Are there ways we can honor our husband that will bring blessings to his ministry? I believe there are.

  • I can show support to his vision for the church. Long ago I accepted that I, personally, was not called to the ministry. I was called to be Mike’s helpmate and share his ministry. So I pray for his vision and I support it; I do not call it.
  • I can keep a well-run calm home (and all my family can now stop laughing and continue reading). I’m not rationalizing when I say that calm does not mean perfect. Calm means livable — the knowledge that meals will be provided, laundry done, and that the running of the household is in capable hands.
  • I can demonstrate respect for him before my children.
  • I can refuse to listen to complaints about him from church members. Instead, when they approach me I can smilingly remind them that I love him, and if they have something that that needs to be addressed, it needs to be directed to him, not me.

I wish to be that kind of woman.

~Janice

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