I tried to come to grips with our situation and I just couldn’t. It was like I was stuck…unable to move forward in faith. I knew I should be a woman of faith. But I was overwhelmed, felt alone, and had no one to share it with. My anxiety was through the roof and I couldn’t sleep. So at 12:00AM, I got out of bed and prayed someone was on FB that could help carry my load. That’s when I saw the green dot next to a friend’s name that I hadn’t talked to in over a year. Not caring about the hour, or how late this would carry us into the morning, I cried,“Can I borrow some of your faith right now, because I don’t feel like I have enough of my own to go through this?”
I was overwhelmed, emotionally weary, and scared.
Not things I could easily talk to a friend from church about since it was a “churchy” situation that started it all. “Maybe you could just pray Scripture over me this next week as I try to accept what is ahead.”
In one of my weakest moments spiritually, my dear friend, knowing my struggles and fears, spoke life into my heart. Take note how she did it…it’s pretty ingenious!
1. She quoted Scripture.
2. She listened and lovingly corrected lies I believed about myself and God.
3. She made me stop apologizing for being weak.
4. She prayed Truth over me.
5. She sent me the very prayers she was praying so I could read them over and over.
6. She checked in with me to see where I was in the struggle.
7. She responded quickly when I reached out for help.
This moment was uncomfortable, humbling and awkward all at the same time. I had to face the fact that I was needy and unless I cried out for help, Satan was going to have a lot to work with.
I needed permission to breathe.
No one likes being a basket case. No one enjoys feeling weak. And we, as women, certainly don’t like messiness…whether it’s our child’s room or the room in our heart.
So is there good news?
Yes! When I let God help address that messiness, He cleaned it right up (as He always does). You see, ladies, it was through that time that God made clear the need for Breathe.
We, as pastor’s wives, missionary wives and christian leaders, need room to breathe. We need permission to be messy and weak without the added pressure of “churchy” stuff or expectations.
You are special, precious in fact, chosen, and already equipped for what you are designed to do! So, feel free to take that breath. God has great things in store even in 2021! He has Chosen you to be a woman of faith.
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.
This is my command: Love each other.