I stood at the sink, methodically washing dishes. He sat at the kitchen table behind me. I shared with him the hard things I was going through, while I scrubbed at the hard food on yesterday’s plates.
As was his manner, he quietly listened as I poured my soul out into the room, and spilled the suds out onto my apron. I dried my hands on the towel. I really needed a hug. I walked across the room and threw my arms around his neck. My Daddy’s strong arms hugged me back. I could feel the rough skin of his hard working hands on my arms. I smelled a mixture of sawdust and paint as I buried my face in his neck.
~And then I woke up.~
I reached into the darkness. Frantically, searching for him. Punching through the blankets. Grasping at the air. Realization sunk in.
Tears flooded my eyes, rolling down both cheeks, soaking my pillow. I laid there in the dark for half an hour, trying to shake the knowledge that I would never feel the comfort of those rough, strong hands around me…ever again.
I knew I needed to get up, to start my day, but I simply could not escape the state of emotional paralysis I found myself in.
~It was then that I heard His voice.~
My Daddy’s voice… whispering my name in the darkness of that early morning. No, not the Daddy with the rough hands…
~the Daddy with the scarred hands.~
He whispered through the darkness:
You are NOT Fatherless.
You are NOT alone.
You are NOT left without a comforter,
without a safety net,
YOU. ARE. SAFE.
Hope, learn to recognize MY scent, MY essence,
the aroma of MY presence,
the feel of MY hand upon you.
Then… and only then, will you learn of MY salvation.
Then…will you learn of MY ways.
Then…will you learn of deliverance from the enemies who circle you with their cruelties.
Then…will you discover the courage you need, the strength you need…
the kind you cannot survive this life without…
the kind that comes only from
“Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When thou saidist, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”
Psalm 27:7-14 KJV