Having Healthy Boundaries in Marriage Breathe Ministry

Having Healthy Boundaries in Marriage

Christian circles sometimes send the message that women should focus on developing  meekness, submissiveness, and humility. We know God set up a perfect ideal plan for  marriage and each spouse’s role. But how does that play out when we have a husband that  lives one way from the pulpit, but another way in private? Are we having healthy boundaries in our marriage?

Below are 5 thoughts to think about when it comes to reassessing your boundaries between  your spouse. 

1. Get alone with God and study!

Study His perfect design for marriage. Delve into the  individual roles each spouse should be living out. Then familiarize yourself with the order, role,  and functionality of each spouse. Understand how marriage is actually meant to mirror the  relationship between Christ and the Church. Lastly, become comfortable with articulating what  Scripture says.  

2. Loving and honoring your spouse does not mean obeying him at all cost.

If you are in a  situation where your spouse is not chasing after God’s best — and he has infringed on your  healthy boundaries, holding to healthy boundaries is the loving thing to do. Making  excuses and allowing ungodly behavior is NOT loving, it is unloving. Boundaries are rooted  in unconditional love for our spouse.  

3. Biblical submission does not mean allowing ungodly behavior to occur in your relationship  or your home.

God always wants obedience. He always intended for marriage to mirror  the love Christ had for the church. You are free to create boundaries that would encourage  that image to be seen in your marriage. 

4. Saying “no” does not equal sin.

Sometimes we think saying “no” or “that needs to change”  to our husband means we are not following God’s mandate to submit. But that is not true.  Sometimes saying “No” to behavior that is harmful to your spouse, others, or yourself will  speak volumes to your submission to God. 

5. You will need objective, outside support —who is that going to be?

This is not a road that  will be easy. There are going to be high emotions, probably loud conversations, and  possibly many tears. You will need support. You will need someone (or a group of  someone’s) to walk this with. It cannot be anyone within your ministry. It must be a group  of Godly women that can pray when you can’t, that can remind you of Scripture, and will  uphold and support your every step.  

Always remember that we are to encourage those in our world to be more like Christ. Helping  your husband be God’s best version of himself is loving. Wrap your boundaries in love,  remember the grace you have been shown, and work to make your marriage the best reflection of Christ’s love for His church. Having healthy boundaries in marriage can help you do this!


We know that October is Pastor’s Appreciation Month but for us, that means “Spoil the Pastor’s Wife” month! We’re giving away prizes every Sunday at 2. Watch, comment, and tag in each week’s video for a chance to win this! Check it out on our Facebook page.

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