For the month of October we are going to visit the topic of marriage and ministry. Maybe you’re like me and thought that being married to a pastor meant having a perfect marriage…after all, my husband is the spiritual leader and must set the example of what “Christ loving the church” looks like, right?
While I’d like to let you believe that our marriage has been easy and we’ve both filled our roles of love/respect perfectly, we all know that ministry can put some hard strains on our marriages. Sacrificing time together, driving separate to church, being a single parent at times tugs at our time and energy to build back into our husbands. If we aren’t intentional, life can creep in.
Recently we attended a family wedding and during the exchange of vows, I felt a tug on my heart. I could remember saying those very same words to the man standing next to me. Maybe you remember too, saying something like this:
“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”
Oh, how I was willing to risk it all to protect that moment, that promise, that man. I find myself still protecting those words, but maybe with a little less intensity. Maybe the daily grind of life and ministry has provided a groove that I enjoy and little by little I am less focused on protecting.
This month we will look at positive ways to build back into your marriage…in ways that can remind the both of you where it all started, and why it has lasted. Bumps and bruises are part of the journey, and being protective of that promise is a life task.
So, for this week, I am just asking you to remember. Remember how it all started. Take a walk and ask your husband to remember those days of dating, dreaming, sharing excitement of walking life together. Even if it’s just one small memory that you can land on, share the fun and joy of revisiting the early days…the days before schedules, jobs, kids, ministry, life.
Sometimes, taking that time to “remember when” is the start we need to plug away on the current issues. “Remembering when” allows us to feel the hope again. It helps us to refocus, to re-evaluate, and reset the tone for your marriage today.
In the coming weeks, we will look at serving together, encouraging your husband, and what happens when it’s all work and no play!