I tried to come to grips with our situation and I just couldn’t. It was like I was stuck…unable to move forward in faith. I was overwhelmed, felt alone, and had no one to share it with. My anxiety was through the roof and I couldn’t sleep. So at 12:00AM, I got out of bed and prayed someone was on FB that could help carry my load. That’s when I saw the green dot next to a friend’s name that I hadn’t talked to in over a year. Not caring the hour, or how late this would carry us into the morning, I cried,
“Can I borrow some of your faith right now, because I don’t feel like I have enough of my own to go through this?”
I was overwhelmed, emotionally weary, and scared. Not things I could easily talk to a friend from church about since it was a “churchy” situation that started it all. “Maybe you could just pray Scripture over me this next week as I try to accept what is ahead.”
In one of my weakest moments spiritually, my dear friend, knowing my struggles and fears, spoke life into my heart. Take note how she did it…it’s pretty ingenious!
1. She quoted Scripture.
2. She listened and lovingly corrected lies I believed about myself and God.
3. She made me stop apologizing for being weak.
4. She prayed Truth over me.
5. She sent me the very prayers she was praying so I could read them over and over.
6. She checked in with me to see where I was in the struggle.
7. She responded quickly when I reached out for help.
It was just what I needed. I needed her to hold up my arms like Aaron and Hur did for Moses…to be strong when I was tired and weak.
It was uncomfortable, humbling and awkward all at the same time. I had to face the fact that I was needy and unless I cried out for help, Satan was going to have a lot to work with.
I needed permission to breathe.
No one likes being a basket case. No one enjoys feeling weak. And we, as women, certainly don’t like messiness…whether it’s our child’s room or the room in our heart.
The good news? When I let God help address that messiness, He cleaned it right up (as He always does). You see, ladies, it was through that time that God made clear the need for Breathe.
We, as pastor’s wives and missionary wives, need room to breathe. We need permission to be messy and weak without the added pressure of “churchy” stuff or expectations.
God wants Breathe to be the voice that reminds you of Scripture, maybe points out lies that you believe about yourself or God, to give you permission to be weak, to hold up your arms like Aaron and Hur did for Moses. He intends for Breathe to remind you of who you are first and foremost to Him!
You are special, precious in fact, chosen, and already equipped for what you are designed to do! So, feel free to take that breath. God has great things in store!