Starting over. We just started remote learning, again. My expectations were low for the experience, but let me reassure you, my expectations for myself were/are high, very high.
I want to be sure my children are receiving an excellent education, not just in academics but spiritually, emotionally, and socially. I have spent countless hours scheduling, and reworking the schedule to ensure we fit it all in – and still find time to work in the few spare moments in between. With remote learning this time, starting over, I no longer gave myself the grace to say – “well this is unprecedented, and we will survive.”
No, this time, starting over, I expected something different, something more.
After the first week, I can attest to the fact that planning does help the days run smoother. In reality, we accomplished most of what we set out to accomplish. But, at the end of the day I found myself not only exhausted and depleted, but fully discouraged. There was no space. No space for breathing let alone the breath of God and move of God. It was up to me to accomplish ALL the things and if it didn’t happen, that was on me too. I was accomplishing, yet drained of satisfaction, barely seeing above the water line, and definitely not breathing.
Plan your way, but it is the Lord who determines your steps.
For all of us beginning again, starting over, with new expectations and new standards and wanting something different. I will offer this: you can plan your way, but it is the Lord who determines your steps. So, make a plan, but hold the expectation of outcomes in an open hand, the weight of “better” or “more” is better given to Him. In fact, go ahead and abandon the outcome, for it is the Lord who determines the outcome. And while you are sitting down to re-work that schedule one more time, cross one thing off your list, and leave a little space for the breath of God. “For it does not depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.” Ro 9:16
It does not depend on you, fellow taker-of-all-responsibility-and-weight in this unprecedented time. Remember my expectation of myself were high, very high. If we truly long for a fresh start, something more – we must look and address our mindset. Is the expectation on you to ensure it all ends up well? Have you handed it over to the One who has unlimited resources and works all things for good? I invite you to join me in starting over. Get a fresh start this time by leaving space to breath, doing our best and abandoning outcomes to our King.
Do you feel like you need a space to breath? Let us here at Breathe Ministry help you make space in your life for yourself and God. Mentors are ready to encourage you in making that space today. Click Here to learn more.