I showed up to church at the appointed time for sound check. Mysteriously, the sound system had blown. The only sound emanating from the speakers was a crackle – tst – crunch sound. The worship was difficult that day. I found it hard to follow a leader whom I could not hear. The noise of the piano drowned out any hope I had of hearing his voice. The only hope I had of not falling completely off track, lost in a deaf abyss, was to mesmerize myself with his every move. From my position I could see only his back. But if I watched very closely, he would sometimes turn his head minutely… just enough for me to see his face. And then I could read his lips, allowing me to know where he was in the song. If I were ahead, I could slow down. If I were behind, I could speed up. Always endeavoring to match my notes perfectly with his.
God, this is how life feels right now. It seems as if the system is blown. I listen for Your voice… but honestly? I just can’t hear it. The static of this life, the only sound I hear. I strain to listen, searching desperately for the sound of Your voice. I must mesmerized myself with Your every move. You are the leader. I am the follower. It is only Your back that I see. Oh how I long to see Your face. I know that if I keep my eyes fixed on You, I will see glimpses. And that is enough. Here I will know your words, the rhythm of Your plan, and the tune of Your heart. And this? This… is my life song.
“ Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.” ~Psalm 42:8