The many raw emotions in ministry as a “Pastor’s Wife”

Where do I begin? First, I want to let you know that I love the Lord with all that is within me. Nothing I have to say is going to shock the most important person in my life, “my Jesus.” He knows me and loves me the way I am. He made me! I know God called my husband and me to ministry soon after we were both saved. Knowing this does not stop the heart from the feelings that overload it week in and week out.

Each week seems like it brings about more emotions. Not just within the walls of ministry but also in friendships and our home as a wife and mom. One of the rawest emotions in my life at this very present time is having time with my husband. When I say time I mean “quality time” – an evening out, spontaneous dinner, movie, ball game or walk. A getaway would be amazing. This type of quality time takes planning – sitters, no meetings, no obligations or hospital visits. As I chat with some of the women in our church and they share their planned events with their husbands or families, honestly there are times that I get jealous and question, “Lord, why?”  Why can it not be like that for us? Why does it seem so hard to arrange things in such a way that would allow my husband and I time to spend together? With the growth of the church and the busy schedules of the kids it makes it quite challenging. While we know the family order that Christ ordained we still fail to abide by it! We know that God is first, spouse, kids, and then ministry. God is not going to bless us if we have this out of order. My fear is that too many of us have it out of order. We can say we don’t but know that we do. We continue to be miserable and go in circles and then back to the same pattern. Until we refocus on keeping GOD first, we will continue to struggle.

For now we will continue to study the Word and do our part. Please pray that God will work in our homes and allow us to restructure our homes for His glory.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33 (KJV)

“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” – Matthew 10:35 (KJV)

“Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.” – Acts 5:29 (KJV)

~Christen

Leave a Reply