We treat transparency with an attitude of disdain and fear. Why? Because we are afraid of what may come from it. Genuine, relational transparency seems like an unnecessary or awkward territory to traverse, not only in our churches and as Pastor’s wives, but in our personal relationships with people every single day. Being honest and transparent means we do need each other.
Here’s a window inside…
- When a friend wants to share how she is struggling, she is afraid. She’s scared that when you realize there are cracks beneath her perfectly built fortress, you will discard her as quickly as you did your empty Starbucks cup this morning.
- It could be you are shriveling up inside, dying to be able to share with someone about the hurts you are facing. Yet you cannot bring yourself to share with anyone because of the possibility of rejection. The fear of vulnerability keeps you trapped in a web of insecurity. The need for healthy boundaries and not throwing all your dirty laundry at someone wrestles with your ache for real community.
- You know someone going through a miscarriage, the death of a loved one, depression, or divorce but you don’t know what to say?
Have we ever stopped to think that when we keep silent and face our struggles alone, we are ignoring God’s command to carry each other’s burdens and have our burdens carried?
Here’s how God inspired Paul to write about this:
“Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” (Galatians 6:2-3)
We cannot deny that He has asked this of us, but we daily ignore it! Our lives become so crazy busy. We worry so much about what our congregations think of us, that the focus is on us. It is not on how we can be a community of believers loving and living life with each other.
Why do people fear honesty?
When we are honest, we are opening up ourselves to growth and deeper relationships. We have to consider that we need to be ready to listen, not just share. There are others who need us to hear them.
Mother Teresa said: “Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.”
We are at a crossroads where we need to ask ourselves these questions:
- Can we be real?
- Are we able to be brave?
- Can we be true to who we are as children of the one and only King?
- Most importantly, are we able to be women (and men) of faith who truly believe Jesus knows what He is talking about when He told us to bear one another’s burdens?
Say yes and launch off the ledge. He is strong enough to catch you and only in the falling will you find your freedom.
When we turn the page beyond our own self-reliance is the moment we enter a new chapter of learning the love of Christ and His people. Therefore in that new chapter, we come to the knowledge that yes, we do need each other.”
Whether you are a pastor’s wife, a missionary wife, a crisis pregnancy director, women’s ministry director or any other full time ministry leadership position — Breathe Ministry is a place for you! Learn more about us by clicking here.